flying penis monster
Decretum Gratiani with the commentary of Bartolomeo da Brescia, Italy 1340-1345.
Lyon, BM, Ms 5128, fol. 100r
"All those signs on sites, that say ‘Do Not Touch’, are there for a reason. Because there is something magnetic about the buildings of the past. I defy anyone to say that, if given the chance, they’d turn down the opportunity to go handle some of the statues in the British Museum. The desire to touch it, to make it real, to engage with it and bring it into our lives is visceral, it’s something that’s a very basic human need."
|Other girls:||Tons of makeup, blonde hair, shop at the mall, tons of friends, fancy cars, self-centered
|Me:||Eyeliner, dark hair, rides horse around, goes out robbing people, handy with a knife, nothing dandy about me. I am Dick Turpin.
In 1808, Napoleon, running out of scenic holiday destinations to invade, somehow totally forgot about his neighbor to the south, Spain. So that year he dispatched his troops, kicking off the Peninsular War.
Only 20 years old and working as a barmaid in the town of Valdepenas, Juana Galan was not expecting a surge of French soldiers to come storming through her village. But on June 6, that’s exactly what happened. At that time, most of the men were fighting Napoleon’s forces elsewhere in the nation. Juana, unfazed by things like rifles and Frenchmen and French riflemen, began organizing the women in her village to form a trap for the approaching army.
When the army arrived, Juana and her friends were ready. They dumped boiling water and oil on the French troops, which by all accounts will instantly take the fight out of pretty much anyone. Then Juana, armed with only a batan, beat back the heavily armed French cavalry with her squad of village women, almost none of whom were armed with guns.
The French retreated, giving up on capturing not just Juana’s town but the entire province of La Mancha, leading to ultimate Spanish victory. Today, she is seen in Spain as a national hero, a symbol of resistance, strength, patriotism, feminism and hitting shit with a stick.
That’s one hell of a portrait.
hitting shit with a stick
This is maybe the best portrait of anyone that I’ve ever seen, ever.
(Source: lady-eboshi, via clockworktardis)
The Branks, also sometimes called Dame’s Bridle, or Scold’s Bridle comprised of a metal facial mask and spiked mouth depressor that was implemented on housewives up until the 19th century. Sometimes called “A scold’s bridle”, as well as “brank’s bridle” was a punishment device used on women, as a form of torture and public humiliation. It was an iron muzzle in an iron framework that enclosed the head. The bridle-bit (or curb-plate) was about 2 inches long and 1 inch broad, projected into the mouth and pressed down on top of the tongue. The “curb-plate” was frequently studded with spikes, so that if the tongue moved, it inflicted pain and made speaking impossible. Many men sustained in this “husband’s right” to “handle his wife”, and to use salutary restraints in any case of “misbehavior” without the intervention of what some court records of 1824 referred to as “vexatious prosecutions.” Generally a husband would need only to accuse his wife of disagreeing with his decisions, at which the Branks could be applied. The woman would then be paraded through the streets, or chained to the market cross where she was exposed to public ridicule. Wives that were seen as witches, shrews, gossips, nags and scolds, were forced to wear a brank’s bridle, which had been locked on the head of the woman and sometimes had a ring and chain attached to it as a leash so her husband could parade her around town and the town’s people could scold her and treat her with contempt; at times smearing excrement on her and beating her, sometimes to death.
Sometimes when folks say this miss the good ol days..I have a real hard time understanding what the fuck you mean. Nostalgia my asshole…
I would murder him in his sleep.
Can’t reblog this without mentioning the very similar masks used on slaves in the American colonies during the same centuries.
I’ve heard differing accounts of how often the scold’s bridle was actually used and because it’s something I’ve never really looked at in an academic context, I’ve never tracked down any kind of reliable source of the subject.
Oooh, I like this:
Almost all medieval feast foods were conveyed to the mouth by elaborate, and often elegant, finger choreography…However, both pinky fingers were extended, never touching food or gravy or sauce, reserved as spice fingers. Dipped into the salt, sweet basil, cinnamoned sugar, or ground mustard seed, then raised to the tongue, the spice fingers displayed a feaster’s digital finesse while adding another sensual pleasure: touch of food’s texture.
Some modern polite extensions of pinky fingers, serving no physical purpose, are cultural remembrances of medieval spice fingers. In fact, a medieval clerical encouragement for use of the fork was to eliminate the pleasure of touch. The fork was generally ignored until the late 16th century as a superfluous and foppish metallic intrusion between sensual food and willing mouth.
-Historian Madeleine Pelner Cosman
image: The Marriage Feast At Cana, traditionally attributed to Hieronymus Bosch